(sorry about the horrible grammar, i wrote this at 2 am)
death is a funny thing. we all know death, we all know someone who died, whether its a relative or a friend. we all know that one day we are going to die but only a few of us have had near death experiences. those people are the luckiest people in the world. it might seem counter intuitive to think so but the fact of the matter is we might know what death is and that we all will die someday but we don’t seem to actually understand it. take a moment and think about it, imagine you only had a year left in your life, would you keep going about your daily routine? or would you change your life drastically and live your life how you actually want to live it? if you are the former then i envy you and if you are the latter then i pity you. because our minds have certain limits in understanding amounts, 40 more years seems like an infinity. it’s like saying a hundred billion dollars… yeah it’s a lot of money but our minds can’t actually grasp the reality of it. maybe if we simplify it it’ll be clearer. staying with an average life and assuming an average young age for you guys we’ll keep going with 40 years just for the purpose of this example. 40 years might seem a lot, but is it? 40 years means 40 Christmases… then you’re dead. no more life. no more Christmas. is 40 enough?
think about last year…. think about this same exact day last year, how close it feels. this isnt a weird feeling, a year is not a large magnitude if time, it actually is very close. now you only have 40 more of these, that’s to say if you’re lucky and live your entire life with no illnesses and no accidents. do you still feel that you are comfortable doing what you are doing on a daily basis?
people say “I work at a shitty job to be able to save up money to live my life later” what is later? when is later? there is never a later. there always has been and always will be a now. the past only exists in our minds and the future doesn’t exist yet. the future is the now of the past, nothing more. this moment now was the future 10 seconds ago in what is called now the past. if you don’t live your life the way you want to live it now, there will never be another later time.
the only reason why our lives revolve around working hard unpleasant jobs and networking with people you hate and sacrifice happiness everyday for the infamous “later” is because our brains fool us into believing we’re immortal. not to mention that after a certain age, there will be so many things that you wont be able to do any more because you waited too long.
now imagine the world now if for example the whole 2012 Armageddon thing was real. that would give us less than a year to live. that is the world i would love to live in. all the futile meaningless things we do day in day out will go out the window and people will live their lives to the max! the world would drastically change of course, but a change for the better.
I wish you all a harmless near death experience, if it doesn’t put your life into perspective and what really is worth spending your life doing then nothing else will.
i feel a sense of belonging with everyone who felt tormented their entire lives by their own thoughts and ideas rumbling around their minds like a deadly hurricane, by the feeling of difference and separation they feel with the rest of the world. tragically, most of these people’s lives end tragically, commonly suicide, others just carry on living a life of constant unease and confusion questioning the purpose of their existence. their endless torment provides the best soil for the creation of the best art you can read/see/hear but the only ones that don’t get to benefit from the fruits of their anguish are the artists themselves.
There’s so much beautiful electronic music out there, all different kinds too, from 8bit/chiptunes to french electro to dubstep, and i wholeheartedly wish i could make beautiful music as well… but wishing wont make it happen… hard work and consistency are essential, and its clear to me now that i have neither. If i want to produce music, proper music, i need to work hard at it, and not expect it to suddenly fall in my lap. I’ve been half-assing ever since i started, and yes i might have made a few good songs, and gained the admiration of a few, but that should makes me jump to the next level, instead im still half-assing and not taking it seriously, and most probably i’ll latery cry over the fact that i never got anywhere with my music. it’s time to really step it up.